Reasons Why I Do Not Like Soccer (and some proposed solutions)

This has nothing to do with Pricing on Purpose, but I since we have quite and international following some of you might enjoy it. Others will want to take me on, so please do so.

1. Too low scoring. As a baseball fan I do enjoy the occasional pitcher's duel, but most Major League games average over 4 runs per team per game. With soccer it is ridiculous, it is always a defensive battle. The solution is three balls in play at the same time. Better two white balls and one red ball, with the red worth three points instead of one! Not only will this increase the scoring, but it will increase the number of breaks in the game, this will allow more beer commercials to be shown.
2. Too many ties. North Americans do not like vaguery, we want a clear winner and loser especially in a once every four years competition. It really get crazy in the bracket rounds of the World Cup when after a brief overtime, they go to penalty kicks. This would be like a baseball game ending in a tie after 12 innings and then deciding the winner by playing home run derby. Nonsense! I would like to see them keep playing until they fall down from exhaustion except for the goalies. How cool would that be? Goalie on goalie until one of the scores! Of course, adoption my three ball proposal would also help reduce the number of ties.
3. The clock is not the clock. Again, this is a problem with vaguery. I mean really, only the referee knows when the game is going to actually end. I know they have added the approximate extra time, but still, it is way too arbitrary. Technology must exist to allow the referee to add this time exactly onto the clock. Oh, by the way, the time runs in the wrong direction. We want it to count down, not up. This ain't track and field!
4. This one is specific to this World Cup - vuvuzelas. Sorry, they are worse then the insidious thundersticks that occasionally make their way into various North American events. The worst offense being the 2002 World Series between the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and the San Francisco Giants. There has got to be a way to filter this sound out of the feeds.